My family is really really stressing me out! I should be excited and not worrying about this but it is all centered around our little one's arrival. I had told my mom she could be in the delivery room (thinking that I would have a vaginal birth) however with the change in plans (c-section) there is only one relative/ person allowed in the OR (assuming I have a spinal and not general- if I have general than no one is allowed in there). I am sorry but my hubby trumps my mom, it is not my rules on only one but I would think that she would understand. So that is stresser #1.
Stresser #2 is who gets to see our little one and when. Hubby and I have decided to take the professionals advice and take advantage of the "golden hour". Thus meaning after I am out of recovery hubby, myself and baby girl will have an hour of bonding without interuptions (when we first mentioned this my mother through a fit and told my brother and sister in law it was a hospital policy and it was for 24 hours! To which my sister in law- miss know it all said that isn't true her friend just had a baby at the same hospital and she was in the delivery room etc.. okay so this once my sister in law was right but needless to say my mom had the family in an uproar). Then we have decided that next to see our little one is our kiddos, we want them to meet there baby sister without outside influences (everyone making over there new little sister)- now honestly I don't expect this time to last long especially with my son he will be rambunctious but I also want to give them all the time that they want. Then after that we are allowing grandparents, and my brother (sister in law if she wants to come to the hospital etc...)to come in the room and see our little one and I have expressed to my hubby and parents that I don't really want any other visitors because I really don't know what to expect or how I will feel etc... Well apparently our wishes are just ridiculous! My mom told my brother that we didn't want visitors so he was texting me last night thinking he wasn't allowed at the hospital- I of course explained everything and he was good with it and understood. My parents have decided that they aren't coming to the hospital until I call and say they can see their granddaughter. I feel totally stressed out and that I am being a horrible person. I don't want to feel like this at all, I don't want people to be upset by our decisions- I get that they are excited as we are too! but I would like people to respect our wishes, am I asking a lot?!.
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You are NOT asking a lot at all or too much! You do what YOU want to do and what is BEST for your immediate family! I think your plan is perfect, and if people are mad for a little while, so be it! They will get over it and you should get to have this experience--it's the only one you will get--do NOT let anyone make you feel guilty for having a plan in place!!! Seriously! And everyone in the free world should know only one person can be in there for a c-section and OBVIOUSLY it would be your husband! I've seen too many siblings lately have such a hard time with the transition of having a new baby, I think your plan is brilliant and I'm thinking we may use the same in the future! Good luck! Praying for you and suuuuuuuuper excited for you!
ReplyDeleteI don't think what you're asking is unrealist at all. And, actually, your mom will probably get to see the baby (not touch, but see her) while you're in recovery. My parents took pictures while our baby was being evaluated and cleaned up. It was almost an hour before I got to hold her. The time will fly by. You've probably already tried to "re-explain" the plan, but maybe you should try again...you know-after your crown is set tomorrow....:) Sorry you've had such a stressful last few days. I will be praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness...such drama....I am saddened that the people in your life are so selfish that they are thinking of themselves at this time instead of you. I had a schuled c-section with both kids and made it very clear that on the day of the c-section...I only wanted my husband and my sister to be there (my mom is deceased). Everyone totally understood and made plans to come the next day when we were settled. And when we had our 2nd...I also made it very clear that when our son met his sister for the first time...it would just be me, my dh, our new baby and big brother....everyone really understood that and respected it. It is just selfishness that makes others think they "deserve" to be there for your moment...stay strong and just let them know you are welcoming to visitors after you know how you will feel and your immediate family (dh, siblings) get to meet the new member. I Know all will go well on Monday. Thinking of you.
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