Sunday, January 30, 2011


So yesterday afternoon I had a girls day, with my mom, daughter and niece. We headed to the mall and had a good time:) I got a lot of much needed maternity clothes (funny story!), and the girls got all kinds of accessories at Cl.aire.s (colored hair extentions that clip in their hair and earrings- in my daughters case magnetic earrings-LOL!). Several things stuck me as we were walking through the mall, it seemed like there was a lot of pregnant woman out at the mall- probably just because I was more aware however I thought I was more aware when I wasn't pregnant?! Another thing that struck me as odd was I felt guilty walking around with my pregnant belly because I was wondering the whole time who in the mall was having a tough time, going through infertility or awaiting an adoption etc... I couldn't shake that feeling, the whole time we were there.
Okay back to the funny story. We were in the maternity store at the mall- my first time in there. There was a real nice lady helping me, and I needed all the help I could get!!! After I got everything I was getting and headed to the cash registered she said "oh what about panties?" .  I said oh, no I am good my husband hooked me up in that department for Christmas. This lady then goes on to say oh wait a minute does your husband work for such and such a company (a large delievery company) and his drivers deliver to this mall? I was shocked and said yes, she said he is a little taller than you? I said yes, she then says I remember him coming into the store to purchase panties at Christmas for you! LOL! Apparently my husband was the only one to come into that store to buy his wife maternity pantiesfor Christmas! (Which I of course greatly appreciated, needed and asked for!). So my family has got quite a kick out of this story and teasing hubby too!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Adoption Stories

Okay I hope that this works!!! I have never done this before, but I am linking to Kelly's Korner tell us your story about adoption. I was so excited when I read the other day that Kelly was doing this:) YAH, Kelly and THANK YOU!!!!!

Okay our adoption stories:
Before my husband and I even got married we had the discussion of kids because I have a heart condition and was unsure if I would be able to carry a child etc... we discussed adoption (I had already done research on the subject for a family and marriage class that I took in college). We got married the end of Nov. 2002 and were quickly focusing on starting a family. I went to a high risk obgyn to discuss the possibility of me carrying a child etc... and to our delight he gave us the green light saying he saw no reason why I couldn't. So out went the birth control and the "fun" began-LOL! We just new that we would be pregnant in no time! Month after month passed, I wasn't have normal periods (didn't have them ever) so by the end of the summer 2003 we called the high risk obgyn that had given us the green light and we made an appointment. At that appointment he made it seem like it wasn't a big issue just a little clomid and I would be pregnant in no time! UM yeah right! (I guess I was a little naive because he didn't explain or tell me that I had to track my cycle, use ovulation prediction sticks etc...) So after a couple of months with no luck we go into the office again and they ask if we are tracking my cycle- um what?! Then all of the sudden they are discussing IVF etc... well we had other major "issues" with the office that I won't get into but we felt like we need to leave the practice. So we found another fertility specialist that was willing to take me on, and once again we were on clomid again. After several more months of clomid with appropriate monitoring it just wasn't happening and the docs weren't willing to try anything else because of my heart. So we turned to adoption in the summer of 2004, we researched our options and due to the cost of international adoption and that I wanted a newborn we choose domestic adoption. My father suggested a local agency that he works with through his work. We called the agency, went in for a meeting to discuss the process, felt like this was what we needed to do and signed up for orientation. We went through orientation within a month, quickly worked on the piles of paperwork and were set up for our home study in August 2004. We put together a beautiful profile book of the two of us and were excited and nervous for our home study which turned out to be a piece of cake. Now we were to wait to get approved for our home study and then to be picked by a birth mother/ couple not knowing how long this would take. We got a couple of calls from the agency about possible matches however they just weren't for us (3 siblings etc...). Then lo and behold I found out the end of September 2004 I was pregnant and not just pregnant but 2 1/2 months pregnant (but the week before we got this exciting news I had also been diagnosed with diabetes which at the time of diagnosis was OUT of CONTROL!). So things started moving fast, we called the agency after much thought and put the adoption process on hold. I got set up with doctors, endocrinologist, high risk obgyn etc... We were beyond excited. Our excitement didn't last long, our first ultrasound the end of Oct. first of Nov. brought devastating news our baby had no bones (probably due to the fact that my diabetes was so out of control when I didn't know I was pregnant or diabetic etc...). Then a week later I was in our new car with my husband when we were in a car accident, everything seemed okay at first however at the follow up ultrasound after the accident it showed I was bleeding and things didn't look good. November 12th 2005 we lost our son at 14 weeks. We were devastated and I went into major depression.
Spring 2005 we started trying to get pregnant again and again no luck and I was just done. I told my husband that my heart just wasn't in it and I needed time to think process what I really wanted. May of 2005 we started discussing that maybe I was ready to start the adoption process again. I think God knew I was ready and needed a nudge;)  Out of the blue the adoption agency calls us the end of May, they have a couple who have looked at all the profiles and turned everyone down, would we be interested in our profile being shown. We JUMPED at the chance, see what I mean , God knew I needed a nudge;) Several days later we got the call, we were chosen and our daughter was due in September=) We were head over heals excited, we met the birth parents (both young teenagers) and their parents all were on board. The summer was a whirlwind of emotions and preparations. September 9th I got the call at work that birth mom was in labor!!! We were not permitted at the hospital per birth parents request. Our daughter was born that evening and the next day we FINALLY got the call to come to the hospital to meet her. We got to the hospital and it wasn't a smooth ride. The hospital had lost our paperwork so we stood for several hours staring at our daughter through the nursery window. Then things were going good, the hospital staff were wonderful and we took care of our daughter as much as week could. Then that Sunday evening we talked with the social worker and the birth parents wanted to feel like they were the only parents and we had to leave the hospital that evening without our daughter (birth mom was having high blood pressure issues and couldn't be release and she refused to allow the baby to be discharged). So we went home empty handed and it was so hard to spend Sunday night, all day Monday and Tuesday morning not knowing what was going to happen. Then finally Tuesday afternoon we got the phone call we had been praying for from the social worker to come to the hospital to get our daughter, and she has been with us ever since=)
Our next Adoption story:
May 2007 we moved into our new home, were settling in and discussing starting the adoption process again in January. We were mulling over the the idea of international adoption because we thought we wanted a sibling that would look similar to our daughter (she was born in our hometown however her birth mother is Korean and birth father Caucasian). The end of June we went to our adoption agency's annual picnic, we talked to several of the staff/ social workers about starting the process and what international adoption might entail etc...but we weren't thinking until the next year- January etc... Again God had other plans and gave us a "nudge". A week or so later we get a call from the adoption agency, they have a birth mother who just came into the agency who is looking to put her baby up for adoption and would like her child to have a sibling, the birth father isn't in the picture he is Caucasian and birth mother is Korean- now tell me that isn't Divine intervention!!!!! So we had to get a profile together - it was done and down at the agency the next day. Why the hurry, well she was due any day! If we were chosen we were going to have to MOVE FAST to get everything done- all the paperwork, home study, background checks etc... We got the call that weekend that we were chosen and our son was due any time now. So hustle we did, we worked non stop on the paperwork, background checks, CPR and first aid re-training etc... We met with birth mom and her mother. I had more contact with our son's birth mother because that is what she wanted, I got to take her to doctors appointments (when she went) and I was in the delivery room when he was born. Needless to say birth mom didn't have her due date right and we ended up having a little over a month from the time we found out we had been chosen however we didn't know that at the time.
Both adoptions of our beautiful children were just as unique as our children are and we are truly truly blessed!!! I truly believe that our children were meant to be in our lives and God's hand was in it all the way.
Our next "adoption" adventure:
We wanted another child, however we couldn't afford another adoption as much as we wanted it. So again I went back to the infertility specialist (after getting my health in order and probably the healthiest I had been in a long time) and started trying to expand our family. After several miscarriages we decided to move on to embryo adoption. Now our embryo "adoption" is not the typical it is more or less donation. We never met the embryo donors, they have no idea who we are and their is no "paper trail" for our child to research who the donors are which was a tough pill to swallow at first. However this is the path we chose and feel is the path for us. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant. Our family is thrilled with our blessings.
I hope my story helps others and feel free to leave comments, questions etc.... Thank you for taking the time to read my story:)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

CRAZY dreams!

Well the crazy dreams have begun!!! I have heard during pregnancy that woman tend to have weird, and vivid dreams. Well my dreams began the middle of  last week. My hubby and I like to watch several police dramas and typically we watch them before going to bed so you can only imagine what my dreams have been like- LOL!!! The first one I had was one where I was in the mob- omg! Lets just say that when I wake up I remember everything, and I have to laugh at some of them.
My hubby has been wondering when my "nesting" phase would begin, LOL! I told him I just don't think it is in me;) However today I got a burst of energy and some of that "nesting" instinct and cleaned our bedroom and bathrooms out- I think mostly because we have plumber coming on Saturday to finally fix our shower and hopefully put a new fixture at our sink- the one we have is NASTY and I haven't liked it since we moved in. So I am excited about that:)  I have been planning on cleaning the kids closets out- a daunting task!!!! We are planning on moving the kids into one room and the baby will have it's own room for the first year or two. So I need to make some changes and get organized!
Another task I have on my to do list that I need to get motivated for is the HUGE consignment sale in our area. I have put the kids stuff in one of our areas huge consignment sales and usually make a decent amount ($700-$800) which would come in REALLY handy right now. I am planning on (if I get motivated which I am sure my hubby makes sure that I do! LOL) using the money to purchase our son's new bed and bedding etc... (he is currently in the toddler bed-convertible baby bed) and of course spring clothes for the kiddos as well. Don't get me wrong the consignment sale is a lot of work but well worth the money. Anyhoo hopefully I get motivated really soon because I need to sign up soon and get everything tagged etc...
So anyhoo that is what has been going on here, we are looking forward to and counting the days till our ultrasound next Thursday. Of course I am a little nervous just because it has been a month since I heard the heartbeat, and will be two months since we last had an ultrasound! However I will be excited to see our little one, and once I know all is well will enjoy seeing our baby and finding out if we are having a girl or boy:) Don't forget to vote PLEASE!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Feeling something?!

I think I have been feeling the baby for the past week or so (maybe longer), at first I wasn't sure what I was feeling was the baby but I am pretty sure it is=)  Then last night my husbands swears he felt the baby too!!!! It was funny I was feeling the baby a lot- I think it was hungry. My blood sugar was on the little low side and it was time for my snack and I was feeling a lot of little "pops" so hubby reached over and said he could feel it WOW!
We have been playing the baby name game, we have a list going but can't seem to agree on anything. I have pretty much decided to wait until we know if we are having a boy or girl.  Two weeks from today we have our BIG ultrasound, I put  a poll on this blog to see what everyone thinks we are having (LOOK on the left hand side above my counter). I am thinking of putting a counter on my fb too and then tallying up all the votes- etc.. I will let you all know:) I have thought all along (for no real reason) that it is a boy; the doctor has made a comment or two in the past that the heartbeat is on the faster side which often indicates a girl; and then you have my son who will ONLY discuss it being a boy and he wants to name it Firefighter Dave LOL! When you say what if it is a girl he says NO! Then you have my daughter that really really wants a sister but also realizes that it could be boy. So it is going to be interesting. I just want a healthy baby and healthy rest of my pregnancy!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Not Sure

Wanted to get every one's opinion, not sure who to talk to about this. I have a good friend who wants to co-host a baby shower for me. I am still "uneasy" talking showers etc... still having a hard time believing that I am 17 weeks today and I don't want to "jinx" things. I kind of expressed this to her and she said she understood said we would discuss more after our big ultrasound in Feb.
There are several "issues" with showers that I need advice/ need to deal with. First one being she wants to co-host and I totally get that it is a big responsibility and costly to throw one yourself; however no one else has mentioned throwing me a shower and I am not sure there is anyone else. I had thought that if I do decided to have one that I would help her out with everything- is that wrong/ tacky?
Another issue is this is my third kiddo and I have been raised that you only have a shower with the first kiddo etc... I had a little shower with our first kiddo- it was kind of different, my mom and sister-in-law put it together. With our second kiddo the adoption was so fast (we found out on a Thursday that the bm had chosen us and supposedly she was due that weekend but come to find out she wasn't due for another month but we didn't know that for several weeks- long story) we didn't even have time to plan a shower etc...
So is it wrong to have a shower or sprinkle?
Another issue that may arise is I didn't go to a lot of family/ friends showers in the past because of all my issues. I always sent a gift with a nice note etc... I am not sure if others get why I didn't come to showers etc... unless they have gone through infertility. Actually the "funny" thing is my friend that is wanting to throw the shower had a baby a little over a year ago and they had a shower for her- I didn't go and she was upset with me at the time even though I tried to explain etc...  It isn't that I am not excited and happy for the family it is my own issues.
I know that people think that by the third kiddos you should have everything you need but to be honest we don't! This baby is going to be born in a different season than my other two kiddos; some of the stuff we had either wore out/ broke, was recalled (yes our bassinet was one of those!) or expired (did you know car seats expire!). And I don't look at showers as "getting stuff" it is celebrating the baby and the momma. So here is my other "issue" we celebrate our first baby and adoption with a shower, we didn't with the second kiddo because like I said time so is it wrong to want to do this for the third? I don't know maybe I am just over reacting. I really want to get others feedback and thoughts.  THANK YOU :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Need a little Blogging HELP!

Okay I am not real good with this blogging them however I have learned over the years. I have this blog and a private blog about my family-  mainly the kiddos etc... The other day I was updating my other blog with pictures from our SNOW (YES we finally got a decent snow that we could all go out and play in:); however the blog will not let me add any more pictures?! It says something to the effect of picasso memory is full and I would have to purchase additional storage space. I have no idea what they are talking about, didn't know that I had picasso, I just add pictures to post to my blog that is all. I REALLY don't want to have to purchase anything (we are trying to watch our spending with all the changes ahead etc...) however I do want to keep blogging. Any suggestions, advice? HELP PLEASE!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Today I had my OB check-up. I turned in my lovely "jug of fun" and had my 2nd trimester lab work done too. I was a little concerned when the lab tech made the comment about how little urine I had in my jug- guess I really need to concentrate on drinking more water each day!!!
I was shocked how fast my appointment went today, I guess after my marathon session last time I was expecting another long one. I didn't have to wait long before being called back and they did a urine sample, weight (haven't gained any I guess that is okay since they didn't say anything!) and blood pressure 110/60 :) Then I went into the room to wait for the doc, again didn't have to wait long. He came in asked how I was feeling etc... then measured my abdomen, and used the doppler to listen to the heartbeat. It took the doc a few to find the heart beat which had me a little concerned at first until he said he was picking up all kinds of kicks and that it is often difficult to find the heartbeat at this stage because they have so much room to move. He didn't tell me and I didn't ask (wish I would have) what the heart rate was, but apparently good! I go back in four weeks for the "big" ultrasound! I asked if the kiddos could come to the ultrasound but they said no- which is probably for the best however they will give us video of it for them to see. We have decided to find out the sex of the baby- I am still hesitant because of the whole in-law situation (see previous post) however I cannot let them influence our decision because it is our decision!
I am still nervous about the pregnancy, but getting more excited every day. I have even started thinking of nursery ideas, and we have talked names (my son wants to name it Firefighter Dave- LoL! of course when we say what if it is a girl he says NO!) but not really getting anywhere with that. I still have to keep pinching myself, cannot believe I am 15.5 weeks!