Thursday, October 21, 2010


FINALLY after waiting all afternoon yesterday and all morning this morning my doctors office finally called with my latest HCG numbers (I don't fault my doctors office I have a feeling it was the lab!). My first HCG number on Monday was 350 and yesterday it was 765!!!!! YAY!!!! and my progesterone number also increased by 2. The nurse said they were all good numbers, it really was a relief to hear that! Now I can relax a bit and enjoy our vacation- we leave this weekend for Dis.ney:) When we get back from vacation that Thurs. (Nov. 4th) I will have my first ultrasound- which I am sure I will be nervous about. We got past one hurdle today (my last miscarriage we found out I was miscarrying with the 2nd beta) now if we can just get past the ultrasound with a good ultrasound (In the past ultrasounds have not been a good experience for us, when I was pregnant with our first son William, we went to my first ultrasound at around 3.5 months and found out he had no bones etc... it was devastating). So with that said I am going to try and relax and enjoy this experience as well as our vacation. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU  for all your continued support, prayers,encouraging words, advice and friendship it means so much to me.  We appreciate it if you could please keep us in your prayers.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Well I had my lab work done this morning and I am anxiously waiting for a call from the doctors office. I choose to have my lab work done at an outside lab because then I wouldn't have to get someone to watch my son while I have it done (don't want a lot of questions from friends/ family because we aren't telling anyone right now). I am very nervous because this is the place that I went the last time I was pregnant, and it was the second beta test that told us that we were miscarrying. So here we are again waiting on the results of the second beta test. I am not sure when I will get the results it will either be this afternoon or maybe not till tomorrow morning. I called the doctors office just a little a while ago to check to see if they have the results hoping that maybe they will call the lab.
I am trying to remind myself that where I have the blood work done doesn't affect the results, think positive, and to remember it is God's will. However with that said it is not easy this waiting and waiting!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I have looked at I don't know how many websites about acupuncture and can't get a straight answer so I thought I would ask you all!  I have been doing acupuncture once a week with exception of the week of the transfer when I did two sessions on the day of the transfer (before and after). Should I continue with the acupuncture and if so for how long? Acupunture is expensive however it is worth it if it helps prevent miscarriage etc... I just am not sure what to do and what most people/ woman do? So I would love some advice:)  THANKS you in advance for any advice you can give on the subject!

Monday, October 18, 2010

THE day

This morning I went for my beta test (I decided not to POAS before today). I was really uneasy not sure what to expect, one moment I felt sure we were pregnant and then the next I was sure we weren't. I didn't expect to get the result at the doctors office so hubby didn't go with me (and as it turned out he was needed at work). I dropped my daughter off at school and took my son to my cousins, she so graciously agreed to watch him for me- she has a son that is 8 months older than mine so it worked out well.
I get to the doctors office and they ask for a urine sample, so I kind of figured I was going to find out one way or the other this morning. The next thing they did was the blood draw and then I had to wait in the "library" conference room. Luckily I didn't have to wait long! My doctor walked in and said we are PREGNANT!!!!! I am soooo excited and I couldn't wait to call hubby. She said that as soon as she did the pregnancy test it showed positive- and she gave me the test as a keepsake.
I just got a call from the doctors office  which of course scared the crap out of me because they didn't say they would call this afternoon with the lab work so I had a bad feeling. However they were just calling me with my lab numbers- my progesterone number is good (26.5 anything above 20 she said is good) and my HCG is 350 which she said is a really good number for first draw. So that was all comforting news once I was able to calm down from the fact that they were calling!
I got back Wed. for my next blood work/ HCG numbers- hoping and praying for a 700 or better!!!!! I am really nervous about this one because my last pregnancy a little over a year ago when I went for my 2nd blood draw my numbers had dropped and I miscarried:(
I already have my first ultrasound schedule for November 4th (the Thursday after we get back from vacation).
Needless to say we are VERY VERY excited but also nervous and cautious. Please pray for me for Wed. blood draw for BIG numbers! THANK YOU ALL for all your encouragement and support I don't know how I would be able to do this without your all's support:)

Friday, October 15, 2010

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

 Today is a day set aside for all the families who have lost an infant or a pregnancy. It is a pain no one understands until they have been through it. I am lighting a candle tonight in rememberance of all those who have lost a baby as well for my babies in God's arm's.
WE LOVE YOU and MISS YOU every single day!!!!!!
William Joseph (November 12, 2004)
Baby W (October 10, 2008)
Baby W (September 1, 2009)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Blog Giveaway

Beckie at  has an awesome blog give away!!! Go to her blog and check it out:) and GOOD LUCK!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Doing Better

I just wanted to let you all know I am doing better. I am still questioning/ wondering about every little ache, twinge, feeling etc... I am feeling however I think mentally I am in a better place. I am anxious for Monday to get here. I am trying to think positive thoughts and I am praying for positive results too!
I am thinking about all of you out there who are waiting on your transfer, waiting the two weeks for your beta, waiting for your ultrasounds and of course for those of you who received a negative beta- my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
THANK YOU so MUCH for the positive thoughts, encouraging words and prayers said for us, they are much appreciated.

Monday, October 11, 2010

First Breakdown

Well last night I had my first breakdown in a really long time, don't know exactly what it is probably the meds but everything just seems so overwhelming right now. I broke down when it came time to give my PIO shot. My rear-end is soooo sore right now and the range in which I can reach is limited so I am trying to avoid the same areas but eventually I am going to run out of space. I was just having a very bad day yesterday and today I woke up in a bad mood too. Saturday was great, I was confident that the transfer went well, and hey I might actually be pregnant (don't get me wrong still had my fears and worries). Saturday I was feeling exhausted and somewhat nauseous- thinking hey this is a good sign (or my mind playing tricks on me!). Saturday afternoon I slept all afternoon from after lunch till about 5pm when hubby woke me up to decide what to do about dinner. I even went to bed fairly early for us on Saturday night and got to sleep till 9am! But then Sunday came along and I was just in a horrible mood, thinking the worst that the transfer didn't work, I wasn't as tired, didn't feel nauseous etc....just knew that I wasn't pregnant but wanting it sooo badly. The kids had a bday party yesterday afternoon that I really didn't feel like going to but wasn't going to have them miss out on. I ended up only taking my daughter (long story but son didn't take an afternoon nap and daddy said no party) to the party and I was not in the party kind of mood. I get there I can't seem to avoid over hearing the woman's conversations (small party room) discussing a third child and "oh yes just go for it you will love having three etc... "coming from the fertile myrtle who is pregnant with her 4th child her oldest is 5! UGH!!!!! So frustrating just wish it was so easy to one day wake up and go oh yes I think I want another child and a wave of the wand and you are magically pregnant.
I am so sorry for this negative post but I need someone/ something to vent to because my mom just doesn't get it and neither (for some reason) does hubby and since we aren't telling anyone else I have no one to vent to. I HATE this waiting!!!!! I just want to know but then I don't want to know. I want to know so that I have just a little peace of mind (of course then it will turn to what are my beta #'s, will they double, will the ultrasound show a heartbeat etc... it's never ending I know). I guess my biggest fear right now is if I am truly in fact (praying to God that I am) pregnant I am scared of miscarrying on our vacation. In two weeks we are going to be in Disney for the week, the kiddos are so excited and I don't want anything to ruin their joy.
Right now I am so many thoughts running through my mind and so many emotions. I am worried about not feeling anything and yet worried that every little pain or twinge is something wrong. On top of all this my blood sugars are all out of wack so I am trying to really watch my carbs while they are also adjusting my insulin. It is so hard because I am a CHOCOHOLIC!!!! I love my sweets but right now they are out of the question. I know that in the end it will all be worth it (or at least that is what I am trying to convince myself that their will be a happy ending at the end of all this), but next Monday cannot come soon enough.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


This morning we had our transfer. Everything went smoothly, my daughter was dropped off at school without any issues, I made it to my acupuncture appointment in plenty of time as well as to the doctors office. Hubby was able to meet me at the doctors =) They took me right back, to change into a gown etc...I played my quiet/ meditation throughout the whole process. They showed us pictures of two beautiful embryo's that they said looked really good. The actual transfer went well, the doctor said it couldn't have gone any better. I rested up at the doctors office after the transfer,then hubby drove me home where I rested, had some lunch and then my mom took me to my acupuncture appointment. Didn't realize that they don't advise driving until Saturday- so we are having to work a few things out as far as getting my daughter to and from school (my parents and Eric are the only ones besides my blog friends of course, who know about the transfer). But I am happy that things went so well, trying to rest and relax as much as possible. My mom is thankfully keeping the kids till tonight; and I made soup and chili earlier in the week for meals this week. So now it is in the Lord's hands, PRAYING our embies stick:) My beta test is Monday October 18th, I am not sure yet if I will POAS before or not.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My First Blog Award!

The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are as follows:

Accept your award and post it on your blog along with a link to the person who has sent it to you. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have newly discovered. You must contact the person to let them know that you have chosen them to receive the award.

THANK YOU Alison and Jess at for this lovely award, I have never received a blog award before and really appreciate the kindness:)  Now I just hope that I can figure out how to link everyone's blogs to mine- never done something like this.

Aaron and Jennifer at:

Dusty and Ashley at:

Krista at:

Carli at:

Jen at:

Elizabeth and Dan at:

Melissa at:

Krisa at:

Marsha at:

Lisa at:

Adrienna at:

Shannon at:

Em at:

Anna at:

Britney at:

Monday, October 4, 2010

PIO Shots

Well I started my PIO shots on Saturday, and so far so good. THANK YOU all for your advice, my husband and I watched the video on how to give the shot properly (and at this point he chickened out on me and decided he couldn't give me the shot), and I am icing the spot until it's completely numb:) LOL! I do think it would be easier if hubby would give me the shot but I can do it. My biggest issue is my tushy is really sore:( but I guess I will get use to it.
I am trying to get the house in order and some meals pre-made so that I can rest after the transfer. My mom is thankfully taken the day off from work on Wed. to help me out with the kiddos and hubby is going to try and at least get off work for the transfer so I don't have to do it alone. Question do your hubby's go with you to the transfer?
I have my acupunture appointments set for an hour before I have to be at the doctors office and again that afternoon. I am trying to keep my thoughts/ head on straight about everything. Trying to be optimistic but also know the reality too (after seeing some of the bloggers who had a rough week last week- I really do feel for them and it made it more of a reality too). To tell you the truth I am not sure how to feel! I am nervous, excited and then not sure all at the same time.
I am thinking about all my bloggy friends out there, who are preparing for transfer, having their transfer this week, those waiting on betas and those who have gotten their beta results good or bad, and I am praying for you all.

Friday, October 1, 2010

We are a GO!

I went for my lining check today and everything looks great:)  We are schedule for transfer next Wednesday morning!!!!  My appointment took FOREVER today!!!! I got there a few minutes before my appointment time, and after sitting a while in the waiting room I knew it wasn't going to be a quick appointment. I finally got called back and I waited and waited for a while (all the time I am half naked and FREEZING!). Finally they come in and do the ultrasound, I still have that stupid cyst on the one side however they are still saying it isn't an issue. She said the lining looked good and we are set for next week, then she tells me they are going to put a stitch in my cervix?! I of course was a little taken aback because they hadn't mentioned this before. So then they prep me for this and say the doc will be back in, in a few minutes after the numbing gel takes affect. Well I sat there for over 40 minutes freezing the entire time! Anyhoo the doc finally comes in and of course apologizes for the wait and explains the procedure- it helps with transfer. The stitch wasn't bad at all, it was like mild cramping of course with the numbing gel in and then being numb from freezing I don't think I could really feel anything anyways LOL!. Anyhoo after the stitch is in, we go over my meds (start the progesterone injects tomorrow- wish me luck because my hubby is not wanting to do them, which means I will be on my own:(  and then of course we had to take care of the financial.  I am excited that we are all a go, I am waiting to hear back from the acupuncturist to set up my before and after transfer appointments.
I am soooo nervous about the shots I will be starting tomorrow, I am sooo dreading them after hearing all your stories as well as seeing the needle-UGH!  I am also a little disappointed that my hubby isn't going to the transfer with me on Wed. looks like I will be going solo. My mom has so graciously taken off work, and it taking care of the kiddos for me so she can't go with me and since we aren't tell anyone else I am left solo. So any advice would be greatly appreciated as well as prayers:)