Monday, April 18, 2011

Not quite the weekend I had planned

Well it wasn't quite the weekend I had planned. My hubby was out of town all weekend for guys weekend at the lake with my dad, brother, uncle and friends so I had the kids to myself. Friday was stormy so we stayed in that night and had dinner, and then watched a movie, nothing real exciting. Then Saturday my son had his Taekwondo class in the morning and I decided to venture to the local cheap book store in search of some good books to read thanks to Kelly's blog post SUYL. Again Saturday was a rainy nasty day, so the bookstore was pretty busy, and my kiddos were handfuls all they wanted to do was go go the kids section. Anyhoo we headed home for lunch, laundry and nap time. Saturday night we went out to dinner with my mom, the kiddos did good, and they talked their Grammy into going to a local ice cream parlor that is one of their favorites that she had not been too. My son loves the place because he can get sorbet (no dairy in it) in a cake cone:) Then it was time to head home for baths and movie. That is when things started to go downhill, between the sugar in the ice cream and my mom getting my son rilled up he was acting HORRIBLE, so needless to say the night didn't go well.
Then Sunday I was looking forward to my baby shower, it turned out to be a gorgeous day! Because my hubby was still at the lake, that meant that both kiddos would be a the shower- which I wouldn't mind except that the time of the shower was during my son's nap; so needless to say he did NOT behave he was more than a handful! Luckily I showed up at my mom's about 75-80 minutes prior to the start of the shower. Well a little background info on my mom, who I LOVE dearly however she has a habit of biting off more than she can chew, she is not great on time management and she NEVER wants ANYONE'S help, EVER! So I should have known when my friend and mom decided to throw the shower together at my mom's house that this was a recipe for disaster. Needless to say when I showed up, she was not dressed for the shower, still had to clean both bathrooms, finish the cookies (they were thank you presents for the guests), fix all the sandwiches, decorate the cake, put the veggie tray together, put the mints and candy out in bowls etc... My friend who was hosting the shower with my mom was late (as usual) and didn't show up till right at the time the shower was to start and forgot the plastic wear- which NO one wanted to tell my mom (whenever my mom hosts something regardless of what it is she is always in a HORRIBLE mood due to stress and at any time you could lose your head for saying something or do something). So anyhoo once I got there I started making the sandwiches, worked on the veggie tray, etc... and tried to do as much as possible as well as keep the kids out of my mom's way. Needless to say I felt horrible that my mom was hosting this party, and felt like it was a HUGE burden.
We had a very nice showing at the shower, family and friends both came and I think everyone had a good time, aside from the fact that my son was not at all well behaved (we have been having MAJOR behavior issues lately with him) and by the time the shower was over he was in meltdown mood and it was not good for anyone. My mother-in-law was a no show, she called my hubby to say that after church she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't make it. My sister-in-law was less than cordial- we have  had a rocky relationship since right around the time she became pregnant with my niece 6 years ago (LONG story). Then I posted something on fb that I had seen on my friends wall, thought was cute and copied it, well apparently she took it to think that I was posting it for her/ about her (this all happened the end of last week) so needless to say that didn't help matters even though I sent her and my brother a message explaining what happened and that it was no way intended for her etc.. even apologizing. So that made things uncomfortable at the shower to begin with.
Now on to the shower, they played a few games, unscramble the words, look at a tray of objects and try to remember as many as you can, and then how big is the mommy-LOL! It was fun watching everyone play the games. Then it was time to eat and open presents. Now I know this is going to come across selfish, rude, and ungrateful and maybe I am but this is how I feel. My hubby and I sent two nights registering at the local BIG baby store, one night just the two of us, then one night with the kids to include them etc... not counting adding stuff online. I thought I had a pretty nice registry with a good variety of things/ price ranges- all stuff that we NEED!  Well out of all the presents we received only two people purchased off our registry! I was shocked! Everyone else just got whatever they wanted, which ended up being a lot of clothes (which don't get me wrong I know we will need etc.. however we don't have a clue to how big our little lady is going to be due to my diabetes etc...). The clothes we got are nice, however we got a lot of duplicates because apparently everyone shopped at tar.jay. and they didn't included gift receipts which really irks me! So now I am stuck with duplicate outfits that may or may not fit her and nothing that we needed. My cousin apparently didn't even think about her gift, our little one is due in the SUMMER, and it gets HOT and humid here in the summer, we got sweatshirts and sweatpants, and again no gift receipt??!! REALLY? Again I don't want to sound ungrateful but when I shop for others I try to shop off their registry AND include gift receipts.
My mom's gift I was really really looking forward to, even though I knew what it was (or thought I did). I had seen several gowns and a blanket on the website etsy however couldn't really afford what they were charging. I showed my mom what I was looking at and she was said "Oh I can make that MUCH cheaper!" so I was thrilled. A couple of weeks ago, I bought the onsies for the gowns, and we went to the local fabric store and picked out some cute fabrics. I couldn't wait to see what she had made. I sent her pictures of exactly what I wanted too to help her etc... and told her I had a friend who embroiders so I would have her embroider initials/ names on them after she was done. Well yesterday I got the gowns and the blanket, I was disappointed (and I know my mom meant well and worked hard on them) to say the least. The blanket actually turned out very cute!!!!! However the gowns didn't exactly turn out so good, they actually didn't turn out to be gowns, more like dresses since she didn't put any elastic at the bottoms; she put as she calls it embellishments on them (um our tastes in things aren't exactly the same) and I do not like them but the worst part is my mom attempted to embroider for the FIRST time on the gowns!!!! The one gown that I really liked is ruined because she attempted to embroider our daughters name on it and it looks like my 3 yr old son embroidered on it:(  I don't know what to do. Like I said I feel horrible that I feel this way but they didn't turn out anything like I thought they would. My mom also embroidered our daughters name on the blanket she made which didn't turn out too bad but the point is she just didn't listen and does things her own way.
So between the issues at the shower, the gifts, my guilt of all the stress my mom was under to throw the shower (and some people expressing that people don't have showers for their 3rd child), coupled with pregnancy hormones I have been a basketcase. I should be happy but I am crying.
To top things off, I need to figure out what to do with all the "stuff" we were given but can't use (can't take back) and how we are going to afford all the stuff that we do need! I have no stroller, no carseat, no swing, no bouncy seat, the list goes on and on. My hubby says not to worry we will figure it all out but I just feel stressed.
I am hoping that our 4d ultrasound goes smoothly tonight and will brighten my mood etc... We are taking both kiddos with us which could be a recipe for disaster. My daughter really wants to go (and she will be just fine, she behaves) however our son has expressed he does NOT want to go and wants to stay with my parents. The plan was for my son to stay with my parents because if he doesn't want to be somewhere he makes everyone who is there miserable; however due to the weekend, the stress of the shower, and how poorly he behaved yesterday my parents aren't watching him and he will be going with us. So say some prayers for us that all goes well. I hope to write a more upbeat post tomorrow.


  1. I'm so sorry that it didn't go how you had hoped. It frustrates me to no end when people buy things you don't need. I try really hard to if I want to give cute clothes, to make sure I also give something they NEED b/c heavens knows this is expensive! Do y'all have a consignment shop that you can go and trade all of that new stuff for some of the things you need? You could try to sell it on ebay? (that sounds like so much work to me, just wishing I could help). My mom is the SAME way, we try to not have her plan even holidays at her house b/c they are ruined b/c she is so stressed and she does things her own way and then tries to convince you that you like it! She picked this hideous material for our bassinet and I just had to tell her, if you want to keep that at your house, you can!! Can you pull out the embroidery and take it elsewhere to be re-embroidered, or take it to the embroidery person and they can usually pull it out and fix it, so that those things are salvaged?

    Praying your 4d goes well and that son stays calm until it's done :) We have ours on Thursday, can't wait to see!! Sending you lots of love, the stress and hormones at this time can really ruin anything and that sucks b/c we all just want to be so happy and excited!

  2. Deni- thanks for your support:) and also for the suggestion on the embroidery, I will have to look into that!!! Thank you for the suggestion.

  3. I was gonna say the same thing as Deni about the embroidery. Depending on the fabric the gown/dress/blanket is made of, it can probably be pulled out and the holes can be 'rubbed out' (I dont know the real term). But unless it was a fabric that pulls and the the fabric threads were split, you should be ok.

    Some places will take returns without receipts if the tags are still on (even if the prices have been marked out or torn off). They may not give you cash back, but if you have several things maybe it will make a good down payment on the large items you need or at least get you several packages of diapers.

    Cant help you with the mom / mom-in-law thing .... they have been who they are for so long there's not much you can do to change it. But the husband thing ... if you'll tell me where to find him I want to have a heart to heart (or head-butting) talk with him about leaving you to deal with the kids on that particular weekend, with so much going on with/for you. :-)

    As trite as it sounds (and I know its easier said than done) ... don't let the stress get to you. Just keep venting here, and take a deep breath and move on.

  4. So sorry things went so poorly! If the items came from Target. You can return them without a receipt for store credit. I have done that several times in the past!

  5. THANK YOU so much for all the kind words and advice!!!! As far as the returns to the store, I checked and I can return them for in store credit, however I have a limit of $70 per year on stuff returned without a receipt. However I think between myself, my hubby and my dad (b/c hubby and my dad NEVER return stuff it is always my mom and I) we should be okay and able to return the stuff. The store doesn't have the "big" items we need however we will put it towards the smaller ones, and have the rest for diapers, wipes, etc.... It will work out!
    As far as the embroidery, I am not sure there is much hope there. It is cotton fabric- onsies. I was looking at the fabric and it is pretty messed up already. I will have to take a picture and try to post it, maybe someone could give me some advice. The blanket embroidery doesn't look too bad actually so I think I can live with it but if need be I think it might be fixable.
    THANKS everyone! It has been a rough week! We had pretty bad storms last night, tornado warnings at midnight till 1am so I didn't get much sleep and the kids are grumpy too. LOL!

  6. The same thing occurred at my first shower. Everyone gave me cute little outfits and only three people worked off my registry. I was so grateful for the thoughtfulness of others, but this little girl is going to have so many clothes that she probably won't wear... The funny thing is, I was more excited about the practical things that were given me off my registry. I was even given a porceline tea set that said 8+ years old on it. Cute, but my frugal side was also saying "why?". So I know what you mean, but I have just decided to enjoy the celebration of our girl and be grateful for the support no matter the kind.