Friday, April 22, 2011

31 weeks and officially SCARED!!!!

I am 31 weeks today:)  It is getting close, I am now in single digits weeks wise. Last night I had my consultation with the anestheiologist. I honestly didn't thing this would be a big deal, even went by myself because hubby was working. OB had just said it was so we had all our ducks in a row, everyone acted like it was no big deal. WRONG, SO WRONG!!! The anestheiologist was very nice but he scared the you know what out of me, practically had me in tears and I am still unsure of everything.  I know (have known, it is congenital meaning from birth) that I have a heart condition, however I have gotten/ had clearance from my heart doctor since we started trying to have kiddos over 8 years ago. NO ONE has ever mentioned the concerns with delivery, I mean yes I always knew that a vaginal delivery may not be an option but it was never really explained. They just basically said that I would be monitored more closely during my pregnancy, which I have been, and knock on wood all has gone well. Well this doctor more than explained every scenario possible, and I understand he was doing this to have me prepared but I am so upset and scared. So here is the deal. As of my last echo that I had done, I am still within normal ranges of heart function (for someone who has had the procedures I have have had) but he said technically I am borderline (now why my cardiologist have never told me this I will never know) and my next echo or two will determine whether I will be able to have a vaginal delivery with an epidural (mind you he said that it would be safer for me to have an epidural than to go natural because it wouldn't put as much stress on my heart). If, and apparently a BIG if I am able to get the epidural it would not be an epidural like most woman get that after 5 minutes or so they are numb/ don't feel anything; instead mine would be a slow and steady administration and I would still feel pain etc... Now here comes the scary (and upsetting part) if they deem it necessary for a c-section because of heart function/ or I cannot have an epidural than I would be put under general anesthesia, which means I would not be awake for the delivery:(  I am crushed to think that I would not be awake for her delivery. Also if this is necessary than I would have an arterial line (an iv in my arm to monitor my blood pressure at all times) put in, and he warned me that this is VERY painful, because it is right next to a nerve. I would also have a central line put in (iv in my neck) both of these would stay in a minimum of 24 hours based on how I was doing. I am still trying to process everything. I know that this doc is very good and knows his stuff, and I do want him as my anesthesiaologist  (LOL! he knew he had scared me because when he was writing down his cell phone for me he asked if I still wanted him as my doctor!). He gave me his cell phone number to call him day or night when I go into labor or have a scheduled induction etc... He said if I had any questions or wanted to go over everything again just to call his office and he would be glad to meet with me again. Here is the kicker he will be on vaction June 9th-20th; my due date is June 24th!
I debated on whether to tell my parents, but ended up doing so, they could tell when I came to pick the kids up that I was a little (putting it mildly) shaken up. I could tell my mom was scared when I told her this and she didn't really have much to- which is TOTALLY unlike her at all. My hubby kind of pissed me off, because he was like you knew there were risks with your heart, and with all you have been through you will be fine, and remember this is what you wanted. UGH!!! I just feel completely blindsided by all of this and I am completely scared.


  1. I can understand your fear and anxiety. I think it is all completely normal -- for every pregnant woman, but especially in your circumstances. Rest assured, as you know, God will be with you through the WHOLE THING.

  2. I'm with Britney. You have every reason to be anxious. I'm anxious and I don't have your health issues- plus I've been through it before! I love to reflect on the fact that Jesus is the Author and the Finisher. He started this miracle in you and He will see you to the end. At least you have time to process everything over the next few weeks. Remember, you want a healthy baby and healthy mama. Even if delivery doesn't go the way you envisioned- if everybody is safe and sound- that's the important thing!