Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm back and I am scared and sad

Well we had a good vacation, lots of walking, it was hot (above normal temps the week we were there- of course!) and I noticed that I wasn't experiencing a lot of the symptoms that I had been which had me a little worried. Yesterday I woke up with low back pain which again freaked me out, but my husband said it's probably due to riding in the car so much the day before however there was something in the back of my mind saying things aren't right. Then last night I had a breakdown, my husband got mad at me because he says I always think the worst etc... I went to bed crying.
Then this morning I woke up felt okay went to my daughter's conferences and started feeling not so good, afterwards I went to the restroom and I was spotting. Now I am having low back pain/ cramps and I think my intuition was right that things aren't good and that I am miscarrying. I called the docs office twice and finally got a hold of someone and all they could say is that their is no intervention and that I can come in for a scan tomorrow- my 6week ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday afternoon. I just want an answer, but I think I already know the answer that I am losing my babies. I feel so alone, I HATE this!!!!! I am so mad, angry, scared, sad and an emotional wreck. I have done everything I was suppose to, I have watched my sugars like a hawk, I stayed away from ALL the yummy desserts on vacation, no halloween candy, no caffine, taken my medicine like I am suppose to, didn't ride any rides that they said pregnant woman shouldn't ride etc...WHY? WHY? WHY?


  1. Here is a huge long distance hug for you! Please know that I am praying for you right now, that God would give you peace, help you feel His presence, and totally calm all of your fears. Not to negate anything you're going through physically, but I have read that spotting at this stage in your pregnancy is very common. Try to rest today, and know that you are not alone!

  2. Dear Jesus,
    Right now we just come before you and present this worry and anxiety and fear before you. Lord, we know that You are in control and that You love these precious little lives. Please, Jesus, protect them. We ask in Your Name that the bleeding stops immediately. Please give peace to her and comfor her as she waits. We trust You, by faith if not by sight. Amen.

  3. Also, although I'm PRAYING this is not a m/c, you can't beat yourself up over it. Early term m/c are RARELY caused by the mom. They are most often the product of chromomal abnormalities in the embryo. Not much comfort, I know, but please don't blame yourself.