Friday, January 28, 2011

Adoption Stories

Okay I hope that this works!!! I have never done this before, but I am linking to Kelly's Korner tell us your story about adoption. I was so excited when I read the other day that Kelly was doing this:) YAH, Kelly and THANK YOU!!!!!

Okay our adoption stories:
Before my husband and I even got married we had the discussion of kids because I have a heart condition and was unsure if I would be able to carry a child etc... we discussed adoption (I had already done research on the subject for a family and marriage class that I took in college). We got married the end of Nov. 2002 and were quickly focusing on starting a family. I went to a high risk obgyn to discuss the possibility of me carrying a child etc... and to our delight he gave us the green light saying he saw no reason why I couldn't. So out went the birth control and the "fun" began-LOL! We just new that we would be pregnant in no time! Month after month passed, I wasn't have normal periods (didn't have them ever) so by the end of the summer 2003 we called the high risk obgyn that had given us the green light and we made an appointment. At that appointment he made it seem like it wasn't a big issue just a little clomid and I would be pregnant in no time! UM yeah right! (I guess I was a little naive because he didn't explain or tell me that I had to track my cycle, use ovulation prediction sticks etc...) So after a couple of months with no luck we go into the office again and they ask if we are tracking my cycle- um what?! Then all of the sudden they are discussing IVF etc... well we had other major "issues" with the office that I won't get into but we felt like we need to leave the practice. So we found another fertility specialist that was willing to take me on, and once again we were on clomid again. After several more months of clomid with appropriate monitoring it just wasn't happening and the docs weren't willing to try anything else because of my heart. So we turned to adoption in the summer of 2004, we researched our options and due to the cost of international adoption and that I wanted a newborn we choose domestic adoption. My father suggested a local agency that he works with through his work. We called the agency, went in for a meeting to discuss the process, felt like this was what we needed to do and signed up for orientation. We went through orientation within a month, quickly worked on the piles of paperwork and were set up for our home study in August 2004. We put together a beautiful profile book of the two of us and were excited and nervous for our home study which turned out to be a piece of cake. Now we were to wait to get approved for our home study and then to be picked by a birth mother/ couple not knowing how long this would take. We got a couple of calls from the agency about possible matches however they just weren't for us (3 siblings etc...). Then lo and behold I found out the end of September 2004 I was pregnant and not just pregnant but 2 1/2 months pregnant (but the week before we got this exciting news I had also been diagnosed with diabetes which at the time of diagnosis was OUT of CONTROL!). So things started moving fast, we called the agency after much thought and put the adoption process on hold. I got set up with doctors, endocrinologist, high risk obgyn etc... We were beyond excited. Our excitement didn't last long, our first ultrasound the end of Oct. first of Nov. brought devastating news our baby had no bones (probably due to the fact that my diabetes was so out of control when I didn't know I was pregnant or diabetic etc...). Then a week later I was in our new car with my husband when we were in a car accident, everything seemed okay at first however at the follow up ultrasound after the accident it showed I was bleeding and things didn't look good. November 12th 2005 we lost our son at 14 weeks. We were devastated and I went into major depression.
Spring 2005 we started trying to get pregnant again and again no luck and I was just done. I told my husband that my heart just wasn't in it and I needed time to think process what I really wanted. May of 2005 we started discussing that maybe I was ready to start the adoption process again. I think God knew I was ready and needed a nudge;)  Out of the blue the adoption agency calls us the end of May, they have a couple who have looked at all the profiles and turned everyone down, would we be interested in our profile being shown. We JUMPED at the chance, see what I mean , God knew I needed a nudge;) Several days later we got the call, we were chosen and our daughter was due in September=) We were head over heals excited, we met the birth parents (both young teenagers) and their parents all were on board. The summer was a whirlwind of emotions and preparations. September 9th I got the call at work that birth mom was in labor!!! We were not permitted at the hospital per birth parents request. Our daughter was born that evening and the next day we FINALLY got the call to come to the hospital to meet her. We got to the hospital and it wasn't a smooth ride. The hospital had lost our paperwork so we stood for several hours staring at our daughter through the nursery window. Then things were going good, the hospital staff were wonderful and we took care of our daughter as much as week could. Then that Sunday evening we talked with the social worker and the birth parents wanted to feel like they were the only parents and we had to leave the hospital that evening without our daughter (birth mom was having high blood pressure issues and couldn't be release and she refused to allow the baby to be discharged). So we went home empty handed and it was so hard to spend Sunday night, all day Monday and Tuesday morning not knowing what was going to happen. Then finally Tuesday afternoon we got the phone call we had been praying for from the social worker to come to the hospital to get our daughter, and she has been with us ever since=)
Our next Adoption story:
May 2007 we moved into our new home, were settling in and discussing starting the adoption process again in January. We were mulling over the the idea of international adoption because we thought we wanted a sibling that would look similar to our daughter (she was born in our hometown however her birth mother is Korean and birth father Caucasian). The end of June we went to our adoption agency's annual picnic, we talked to several of the staff/ social workers about starting the process and what international adoption might entail etc...but we weren't thinking until the next year- January etc... Again God had other plans and gave us a "nudge". A week or so later we get a call from the adoption agency, they have a birth mother who just came into the agency who is looking to put her baby up for adoption and would like her child to have a sibling, the birth father isn't in the picture he is Caucasian and birth mother is Korean- now tell me that isn't Divine intervention!!!!! So we had to get a profile together - it was done and down at the agency the next day. Why the hurry, well she was due any day! If we were chosen we were going to have to MOVE FAST to get everything done- all the paperwork, home study, background checks etc... We got the call that weekend that we were chosen and our son was due any time now. So hustle we did, we worked non stop on the paperwork, background checks, CPR and first aid re-training etc... We met with birth mom and her mother. I had more contact with our son's birth mother because that is what she wanted, I got to take her to doctors appointments (when she went) and I was in the delivery room when he was born. Needless to say birth mom didn't have her due date right and we ended up having a little over a month from the time we found out we had been chosen however we didn't know that at the time.
Both adoptions of our beautiful children were just as unique as our children are and we are truly truly blessed!!! I truly believe that our children were meant to be in our lives and God's hand was in it all the way.
Our next "adoption" adventure:
We wanted another child, however we couldn't afford another adoption as much as we wanted it. So again I went back to the infertility specialist (after getting my health in order and probably the healthiest I had been in a long time) and started trying to expand our family. After several miscarriages we decided to move on to embryo adoption. Now our embryo "adoption" is not the typical it is more or less donation. We never met the embryo donors, they have no idea who we are and their is no "paper trail" for our child to research who the donors are which was a tough pill to swallow at first. However this is the path we chose and feel is the path for us. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant. Our family is thrilled with our blessings.
I hope my story helps others and feel free to leave comments, questions etc.... Thank you for taking the time to read my story:)

7 comments:

  1. What an amazing story that was clearly orchestrated by God! Thanks for sharing!!

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  2. I was encouraged reading your adoption story! Congrats on your wonderful family. My husband and I are now starting the adoption journey with domestic adoption so it has been great to hear so many stories. I was born with a complex congenital heart defect so my cardiologist ruled out pregnancy for us 2 years ago. Thank you for sharing your story!

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  3. This was a neat read, thanks for posting it. I had no idea of your adoption stories.

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  4. Thanks for stopping by!

    And what an amazing story ... The *best* stories always have a few twists and turns, don't they?! I had such a huge interest in embryo adoption when we first began - I'm excited to read more of your journey.

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