20 weeks and an update :)

Can't believe I'm 20 weeks today- yay!!!! I was suppose to have my 20 week ultrasound and check-up with my OB this Thursday however the oncologist office scheduled my follow-up for the same day at time. So I rescheduled my OB appointment and couldn't get anything until next Tuesday:( I'm kinda bummed about that because I'm anxious to see our little girl. I have been feeling her a lot more lately, hubby and the kiddos have been able to feel some of her kicks and even see them!! I love feeling her move around:)
We've decided on a name, and most everyone is happy. H is not happy and refuses to small his baby sister by her name, this is nothing new, he did this when I was pregnant with L. Now we need to start looking at getting L's room ready for another crib etc.. Getting H a big boy bed finally and we also need a double stroller- we had one for M and H but sold it thinking we wouldn't need it. The bed is the top priority, because we want to switch L to the toddler bed because this morning while I was in her bedroom waiting for hubby to come get her out of her crib (I can't lift more than 10 lbs) L showed me how she can climb out of her bed herself! YIKES!!! We just haven't found anything we like for H, we really want to find him a loft bed so he had "more room for activities" LOL!! No seriously so he has some room to play and for storage. However what's in our price range/ budget is cheap looking. Regardless we need to figure done thing out soon!
As far as my recovery goes, slow and steady:) Really I'm doing quite well. I got out of the house for the first tims since getting home, I went to church and out to dinner with the family yesterday. I'm doing more and more each day. Hubby went back to work today- he was so ready to go back- lol!! And he really didn't have it that bad or do my regular schedule!! My mom is my chauffeur this week since I can't drive till next week.  So that's what has been going on. THANK YOU again for all your kind thoughts and prayers!!!!!

Surgery Update

Sorry I haven't been able to update everyone, until now. I had surgery yesterday afternoon, it was scheduled for 1:00pm however it didn't start on time! Surgery went well, baby girl is doing well and so am I. They were able to do it laproscopically, however had to stay in the hospital overnight for observation for myself and the baby. We just got home not too long ago. The best news is the preliminary results are benign!!!!! Our prayers have been answered, God is Great!!! We will get the final results next week when I go for my follow-up with the oncologist.
Right now I'm trying to rest, I'm in quite a bit of pain. They were able to do it laproscopically however the main incision is larger due to the size of the mass etc.. I can't drive for two weeks and can't lift anything over 10 lbs until I go back to the doctor next week. So both of those pose some issues that we will have to work out.
I just want to thank you all for your kind words of support and prayers they are much appreciated!!!!

Hanging in there

I want to thank all of you who have left encouraging kind thoughts, and who are keeping us in your prayers, it really means a lot to me!! I'm hanging in there, trying to stay busy. The weekend was really hard, cried most of the weekend, however with the routine if the week, and trying to prepare as much as I can for my mom and hubby to make it easier on them; I've done better. We haven't told the kiddos yet, we are planning on doing that this weekend. We are going to tell them as little as possible, but also tell them the truth. I think hubby is going to tell them because I'm afraid I will start crying etc and that would scare them, something we don't want to do. I'm meeting with our priest on Saturday morning to get anointed, etc...
Sunday I have to start the prep for my surgery:( Starting at noon I'm only allowed clear liquids, then at 4:00 that afternoon I have to drink magnesium citrate- yuck!!!! Then starting at midnight nothing to eat or drink. Now I don't know who did the scheduling, but is like to talk to them!!! Who makes a diabetic pregnant woman go from midnight until after surgery to eat, and then schedules the surgery for 1:00 in the afternoon???? I'm going to be starving, and ready to gnaw someone's arm off! UGH!!! The surgery will take about 2 hours, and if they are able to do it laproscopically then I will be home that night. We should find out the results that day.
Right now even though I'm preparing for the surgery I'm trying to enjoy the here and now and soak up as much time as I can with my kiddos! Oh and the little one has been more active, I've been able to feel her more- my little guardian angel:)

Doctors appointment

Thankfully hubby was able to go to the appointment with the oncologist this morning. My mom stayed with L and H (h tested positive for the Flu yesterday!), she wasn't feeling good either but didn't want me to go alone.
The doctor cut to the chase right away, it's a large mass that has over taken my right ovary, right now they are treating the mass as cancer. I will have surgery Feb 18th. They are hoping to do it laparoscopic but there is a chance they won't be able to in which case they would have to open me up. If they can do it laproscopic then its out patient with about a week recovery. If they have to do surgery then I will be in the hospital 2-3 days with 4-6 weeks recovery. They are going to remove the mass, the ovary and tube. They will then test the mass to see if its malignant. If it is in fact malignant then after the baby arrives they will remove my other ovary, tube etc... As with any surgery there is risk to me and the baby. I'm so scared for so many reasons. I'm scared its malignant cancer , I'm scared of losing my baby girl and losing my life- missing out on everything with my kids, leaving them without a mom !
Right now I just want to hold my babies!!! As I write this post crying, devastated by our news and holding L while she sleeps because I can't bare to put her in her crib. Please pray for me and for my family.

When it rains it pours!!!!! **updated**

Little Miss L hasn't been quite herself. Last week, last Tues to be exact I took her to the doctors because she was congested, wheezy, and running a fever. The doctor didn't run any tests, just listened to her, checked her out and said its just a virus and needs to run its course. We continued on her breathing treatments per doctors orders. By the end of the week she was fine, fever free etc... Then Sunday she slept till 10:20!! I just figured she was worn out from our busy weekend; then that afternoon she started running a fever again, still coughing. Then last night her fever got petty high- 103 and her cough seemed worse. So this morning I called the doctor got an appointment, made arrangements for the other kiddos to be picked up from school just in case we weren't finished with the appointment. This time L has an ear infection and they tested her for the flu, and she tested positive:( Just praying the rest of us can stay flu free and healthy!!! Yes we all had the flu shot, but of course it doesn't cover all the different strands. So I'm home with little missy, and we are cuddling on the couch with her paci, and blankie:) Hope she feels better soon,  and is back to her funny, curious little self!!

UPDATE**
So Friday is my appointment with the oncologist, we had made arrangements for my mom to take the kids to school and watch L so that hubby can go with me. Well my mom now has the flu:( She probably isn't going to be able to take care of the kiddos and with L having the flu she can't go with us and no one to watch her. So it looks like hubby is taking care of the kiddos and I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties and go by myself! UGH!!!!!!!! WHY??!!

** update** My Doctor called

Well my doctor called me around lunch time and I got a few more answers to my questions. Yes it's a mass, it's more dense than a cyst. It has not changed size since my last appointment. So with all that said he is sending me to an GYN Oncologist next Friday morning- YES I'm scared and "freaked out"! Please keep me and our family in your thoughts and prayers!

16 week check-up; scared and need prayers please!

Well yesterday was my 16 week check-up and as always I was nervous, hoping and praying everything is okay with our baby girl! My ultrasound appointment was at 11am yesterday and I more than filled my bladder! I was ready to burst- the tech said my next ultrasound appointment for my 20 week scan I only need to be half as full- LOL! Our little girl looked good, all curled up in a little ball, her arms up by her head- it was great to see her and hear her heartbeat and know everything is okay with her! Then they checked my right ovary, that was the main reason I was having the ultrasound to check the "cyst" they found last time. The tech didn't say much, which kind of concerned me, but to be honest she isn't my favorite tech, I prefer the other one, she is much more personable etc... The tech did say its about the same.
After my ultrasound I was sent across the hall for my doctors appointment. I waited and waited and waited!!! As soon as I had checked in I asked to leave my urine sample because I was about to burst. I waited so long in the waiting area I had to use the restroom again! I was finally called back to have my blood pressure, weight etc.. checked and then put in a room where I waited some more. The doctor came in- it was my regular doctor this time. He came in and asked me what that "mass" was on my ovary? UM mass? I thought it was just a cyst. He basically said he needed to consult with his colleagues as how to proceed, that he didn't like to operate on pregnant woman however if it was necessary he would. I HATED he used the word "mass" instead of cyst?! I swear he was maybe in there a total of 5 minutes if that, and in that time he also talked about his " teams- basketball teams and their winning" wth?! He basically left it that after he consulted with his colleagues he would call me. He didn't do an exam at all, didn't even touch me at all?! I realize that having the ultrasound that they heard the heartbeat but I thought they did other stuff? I am left with a MILLION and one questions, concerns and worries, that I wish I would have asked while I was there but I guess I was just stunned and didn't know what to ask at the time- hubby wasn't with me he was watching L for me. Needless to say I didn't leave the doctors office till after 1pm and I was starving!!!!
I made the mistake of "researching" on the Internet mass on ovary during pregnancy which just made things 10x's worse with all the scenarios. I just want to know everything is going to be okay with our little baby girl. I honestly was fine a little concerned after my last ultrasound but thought okay its a cyst, I have had them before and worse case they take it out at delivery time. But now with the use of the word "mass" and my doctors "concern" has me beyond scared.
So has anyone out there had similar situations or know someone who has????? I would really like some support, and prayers during this time, pray for our baby girl that she stays safe inside of me until delivery time and that the mass/ cyst shrinks/ goes away on its own and doesn't require surgery during my pregnancy. Thank you all:) My next appointment is the end of February where I will have another ultrasound- it is the 20 week scan, and once again my doctor is on vacation so I will see someone else in the practice.