Friday, July 2, 2010


Okay I have been debating on posting for several reasons one big one being I don't want to get to excited. I have been down this road before I remember where we have ended up before and that scares me. Since the endocrinologist put me on Metformin (a pretty high dose) hoping that maybe that would be the trick to getting me a " normal" cycle.  Well for the last 2-3 months I have had a "normal" for me cycle, every 40 days!!!!! Which I cannot ever remember happening for me unless I was taking bc pills or clomid! So yes I was thrilled to be sort of normal- haha. Here is the kicker not knowing my cycle, I could feel myself ovulating etc... but not knowing when to start testing for ovulation- those test sticks get expensive!!!! So I decided to call the fertility specialist to see what they would recommend etc... They of course wanted to see me and do an ultrasound. I thought okay maybe they will put me back on clomid. I mean we know that I have gotten pregnant twice using that. So I go in for the ultrasound and lo and behold I have a nice good size follical. WOW could this really be my body?! Here again I don't want to get too excited at all! So they decided to give me that wonderful (painful-LOL!) hcg shot to make sure I release the follical. I also have to start using the lovely and messy pro.gesterone gell because of course typical of my body my lining is very thin.
So now we are waiting and I HATE waiting. I am trying not to stress myself or think about it but it is hard. Last weekend when it was "prime time" when I shouldn't be stressed I had my niece at our house all weekend- which don't get me wrong I love her but it just adds a little more stress. But the BIG stresser was having to go to my in-laws for a get together (that is a whole nother O.Prah on why that is a big stresser) but then to make matters worse my new (less than a month old!) car decides to break down on the way. UGH!!!!! We have been dealing with that ALL week, thank goodness the dealership has been great. We have a rental that apparently (we just found out today) we will have the rest of the month because my vehicle needs a new transmission!
So who knows about this cycle I just hope and pray that just maybe this is the answer but then I think okay if it didn't work this time please, please, please body cooperate next month!!!! So stressful. Then the end of this week I have been having lower back pain- similar to what I had when I miscarried last Sept. I think its too early for it to be that (it was a week ago yesterday that I was at the fertility spec. office and got the h.c.g shot) but it also feels like when I am about to start. So of course I am trying not to get freaked out and worried it could be a multitude of things but its hard not to think the worse! Where is my crystal ball when I need it?!
The other thing that I have been rolling around in my brain is- should this cycle not work and my body does cooperate next month should we just do IUI. It wouldn't be as expensive since I wouldn't have to take the super.ov.ulation drugs etc... Another thing that I have been wondering for some time is: do you think woman have a certain time during the year that they are most fertile? I have had my pregnancies take place around the same time of the year. I know with my cousin all three of her kids birthdays are within a month of each other! So here is the kicker if that is the case then my "PRIME" time for the year is coming up this month so IUI would increase our chances- right?  UGH so many choices and things to think about. I feel like I am in a maze and I am afraid to make the wrong turn that will lead to a dead end :(

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