sorry!

Sorry I know it has been a while since I've last posted, I've been dealing with A LOT of stuff, emotional stuff. First off I had my first OB appointment and it went well, just not like I had hoped it would. The OB is very cautious, I think because he doesn't have my prior history, it was never an issue before but now that this baby is biological etc... So I left the appointment scared. As of today I am 10 weeks two days:) My next appointment is Jan 4th, and I will have another ultrasound. My OB really wanted my past history basically, the baby we lost etc. It was hard to track down all my history, when I say hard I mean physically and emotionally. It was digging everything up again and bringing the emotions all back. No one seemed to have my records, I felt like I was going round and round. Thankfully my mom works for a doctors office and was able to help out tremendously, she was able to get all the needed/ pertinent info to my OB's office. We finally know the diagnosis of the baby we lost (acrania, which is not genetic) after 8 years! I'm sure we were told back then but it was a lot to take in at the time. The "bombshell" at least for me was that we told our baby was a boy, we named him after both my grandfathers, and we had him buried at a local catholic cemetery; the amniocentesis revealed that in fact our baby was a girl. I couldn't believe it after 8 years of thinking our baby was a boy, it was a girl. I am not sure what to do with this information, I mean do we change the headstone etc.. We haven't told anyone, I think it is kind of one of those things we aren't sure what to do with the info. I don't even know how to begin to tell our kiddos who knows they have a "big brother" in heaven etc..
The other "big" news I have been dealing with is my brother and his wife are separating after ten years of marriage. They are waiting till after the holidays so the kiddos have a "normal" Christmas etc... Then my brother plans on moving out, I don't have much of the story other than my brother says "trust it is for the best". I just cannot imagine that it is for the best, I don't know I just worry about my niece and nephew and how it will affect them.  I am still processing this info and what it means for everyone involved, not only will it affect them and their kiddos but my kiddos as well. I am trying to be supportive and help out however I can. For now we are to "act" like everything is the same.
So with all that going on, I also have been dealing with running the kiddos here and there and every which way to girl scout meetings; cheer leading practices and games; basketball games; gymnastics practice; sign language club; Christmas programs at both their schools and do all the "Christmas" activities. Hubby is pretty much non-existent right now with his job- it is there peak season. I think I have all the Christmas shopping done with exception of hubby's because he hasn't given me any ideas/ a list. I haven't done any wrapping. Today is the first day of Christmas break for my kiddos and I have my niece and nephew- they spent the night and are with us all day today. Tonight I am working the concession stand at the basketball game (part of the requirements of my kiddos participating in sports) for a couple of hours, thankfully my parents are watching the kiddos for me. I had planned on taking my kiddos to paint pottery (I need to get L's Christmas plate done, the other kiddos each have one) however I am not adventurous to take 5 kiddos to paint pottery not to mention the cost. Tomorrow is L's 18 month check-up at the pediatricians office and at some point I want to get some baking done, the kiddos look forward to making cookies each year.
We have decided we are going to tell our families are big news on Christmas. So this Sunday we are going to hubby's side of the family so we will be telling them at that time, but of course before we do that we need to tell our kiddos;) I have been trying to come up with a creative way to tell the kiddos and our families but just haven't come up with anything. I welcome some creative input:) I think M suspects that I am pregnant, she asked me about a week and a half ago but I kind of just laughed it off, didn't tell her yes or no because I don't want to lie to her.
So that is basically what has been going on in my little neck of the woods. I hope everyone is doing well and if I am unable to post again before Christmas that you all have a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas with your family and friends!!!!! ( I know after last weeks school tragedy in Conn. I will be looking at this Christmas with my kiddos a little differently, definitely more hugs and kisses and "special" time together)