Thursday, December 30, 2010

SO FRUSTRATED!!!

UGH!!! Where to begin, let me start off by saying my in-laws are "different" and we got along fine until my hubby and I started the adoption process. When we told them what are plans were the first thing out of his mother's mouth was "your not going to adopt a black baby are you?!" Well um no we decided not to for this very reason because we knew that my husband's family would not be accepting. Fast forward to our match, we were OVER THE MOON excited to be adopting a baby girl:)  Our precious baby girl is part Korean and she is GORGEOUS (of course I am biased;). Well from the moment my in laws found out that our child was going to be part Korean they kept asking how dark the birth mother was, what she looked like etc... When introducing us/ my kids they are referred to as their adoptive granddaughter/ grandson- which just infuriates me and gets under my skin like no other, they are your grandchildren. period end of sentence! The day we brought our daughter home and my in-laws came to see her they told us that they are praying that we will get pregnant with a son- um why?! Once again this made me furious! Anyhoo fast forward a couple of years and our son who is also adopted and part Korean (hand of God in our adoptions!) ; before he is born the questions begin to how Asian he was going to look was brought up yet again! My hubby is an only child so you would think that his parents would be thrilled to have grandchildren but all they can see is "how Asian" they are, and I could go on and on with the comments and slights to my kids (THANK GOODNESS for the blessing of my parents, my parents adore my kiddos and my kiddos adore them!).
So with all this having been said I was concerned about how they would take my pregnancy- we have not told anyone (other than my parents and of course doctors) that we did embryo adoption, this was a choice my husband made and I am perfectly fine with because of the type of EA we did there are no papers for our child to be able to go back and find info on the loving people who donated their embryos.  So needless to say my in-laws were shocked (they had no idea we were trying) to find out we were pregnant and "excited". But here is the thing I am so afraid of how my two children will be treated by my in-laws once their sibling comes along. My husband told me last night what his parents said to him on Christmas (I wasn't there because it was an hour drive there and back and I wasn't feeling well at all so the kiddos and I stayed home for naps. We did have his parents up the next day for Christmas with them- this is typically the longest we see them all year, they stay for about 2- 2.5 hours; typically it is 1- 1.5 hours once a month. We exchanged gifts (gotta love this and I know it is the thought that counts etc.. but what thought was really put into my gift?! I got a St.ar.Bucks gift,card um can't have that and lots and I mean lots of Go.D.iva Choc. um yep I am diabetic and pregnant can't have ANY sweets and this is not news to them)and then went out to lunch- where my MIL pissed me off with yet another comment, she saw an Asian little boy running around, he looked to be a little younger than our son. She said "huh, must be in there blood" well I tried biting my tongue but that didn't last long and I just looked at her and said "NO it is called being a BOY!" ) Anyhoo back to Christmas day and what my in-laws said to my hubby:  "they told him that they were really praying for a boy for us to carry on the family name, you know with their blood and all". UM HELLO what about our son?! He will carry on your name whether you like it or not! So needless to say I was furious and that is all I could think about last night when I was suppose to be sleeping. My in-laws should be praying for a healthy baby and healthy momma !
Okay I just needed to vent, every time I think about this I am furious; thanks for letting me vent!!! I need it.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm still here

I am still here and still reading everyone's blogs. There really hasn't been much going on, busy with the holidays and this week I have been focusing on the kiddos with play dates etc... Next week begins the routine again, my daughter goes back to school :(  and I have two doctor's appointments, one with the obgyn and one with my endocrinologist. I am already starting to get nervous about my next obgyn appointment- hoping and praying all is well with our little one! This will be the first appointment my hubby won't be able to go with me. Before the appointment I have to do the "jug of fun" if you are not familiar with this it is where I have to collect my urine for 24 hours in a jug and take it in with me for my appointment (I have done this in the past for the endocrinologist)- fun times:/
I think I am getting nervous because we are starting to realize/ talk about when the baby arrives etc... we have kind of talked names and whether we want to find out the sex, planning room arrangements (we only have a three bedroom house) etc... and I am letting me guard down and excited- especially see the kids get excited and talk about their sibling etc.. So with that said I will continue to read everyone's blogs and will update next week after my appointments. Hope everyone has a Very Happy and Blessed New Year! Happy 2011:)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Snow Days!!!!

Haven't really had much to post about lately just trying to take it easy and get  all the Christmas stuff done! Cards are finally done, and mailed:) But I still have shopping and wrapping (haven't wrapped anything yet!) left to do and then of course comes the baking - next week (however I am scaling WAY back this year because having all those sweets around are too tempting for me!)  This week I haven't gotten much done partially due to the crazy weather we have been having. Monday we awoke to snow, which resulted in a fun snow day at home- lounging in pj's playing board games:) Then today we awoke to a little more snow and ICE! Snow day #2 for the week, so we are once again lounging in our pj's taking it easy. THANKFULLY the ice storm wasn't nearly as bad as it was a couple years ago when we lost power and ended up staying at a hotel!
I am trying to get motivated and clean the house (my hubby is looking forward to the second trimester because he heard nesting instincts take over and I will be cleaning everything- LOL!!!), I am having my family (mom, dad, brother, sister in law, niece and nephew) over for dinner tomorrow night -weather permitting to celebrate my mom and sister in laws birthdays. Of course I have been trying to plan this for some time and my brother and his family finally decided last night that Friday night is the only night that works for them! Of course today I can't get to the grocery because of the weather (and who knows when hubby will be home, tis the season for LONG crazy hours when you work for that "brown" company!) so hoping the weather cooperates and I can rush out tomorrow and get everything.
In the world of baby I got a call from my obgyn about my lab work and the first part of the test we had done to test for d.syndrome, trisomy etc....  was within normal range however it won't say negative till I have the second part of the test done at my next appointment the first of January. I really wasn't concerned but it was good to hear:) Curious to see if I will have another ultrasound at that appointment, it is so hard not to have an ultrasound when you are so use to having one every appointment- LOL! Even though I get worked about/ nervous about it, it is a relief to see our little one moving around,heart beating and healthy:) The one thing I am not looking forward to at my next appointment is having to do the "jug of fun" where I have to collect my urine for 24 hours and take it in to be tested. But I will do what I have to do!!! Okay I have rambled on enough.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

New Obgyn

I had my first appointment with the high risk obgyn that I will be seeing for the rest of my pregnancy. First off I want to say that I really like the doctor  and the nurses however the appointment took FOREVER!!!! My appointment with the nurse was at 11:30 (its suppose to take around an hour, I joked they had scheduled it that long because it was going to take that long to get all my history!) and then with the doc at 1:15. Well do to some lab tech taking an hour for lunch instead of 30 minutes  I didn't get out of the office till 2:50!
So I met with the nurse, she is wonderful and explained everything, basically whenever I have a question or concern my phone call will be directed to her or one other nurse. She also went over some other basics and took my history. Then we had to decided whether we wanted the down syndrome, trisomy, etc... testing. Hubby was kind of against it because he said it wouldn't change anything however I was for it just for the information etc... Hubby joked that the only reason I wanted it was because then I would get an ultrasound today (they surprisingly hadn't planned on doing one). In the end we went ahead with the testing- which the doc was glad we did and so am I and as an added bonus we got to see our beautiful little one:) and hear the heartbeat (twice, once in the ultrasound and once with the doppler with the doc). Oh and I am DONE with the lovely ultrasound wand:) LOL! It was nice to know I didn't have to have another ultrasound like that. So then it was time to wait for the lab tech to get back from her extended lunch break, we waited and waited and in the end it made us late for the doc appointment. Finally I got to meet the doctor and I really like him, he is very personable and seems easy to talk to and understands those who have had a rough road to get to a pregnancy! So we talked with the doc for a few before heading in for my actual check up etc... and everything is great and on target for my due date. What I LOVED LOVED LOVED hearing was that tomorrow I will be 12 weeks and (he did said that there can always be complications along the way but for the most part I am out of the woods for a miscarriage now) I am 97% assured of bringing home a baby=) I keep having to pinch myself, I cannot believe this is actually happening!
Oh and the other thing I loved hearing is tonight is my last PIO shot!!!! WOO-HOO!!!! (although it makes me a little nervous that I have seen others on here have labs before the doc gave them clearance etc...)
So now I have an appointment reprieve for the holidays. I go back to the obgyn in 4weeks.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Week of Check-Up's

Last week I had a lab appointment for my endocrinologist, then on Friday I had my heart doctor check-up- I was kind of looking forward to this appointment. The heart doctors that I go to have seen me since birth, so I was excited to share our news with them however none of the docs that I usually see were in:(  However my appointment went great and I got a great bill of health. I will go back for another check up in my 2nd trimester (usually they see me once a year however they want to keep an eye on me).
Then today I had my endocrinologist appointment (diabetes doc). The appointment went great, she was very impressed with my labs, my blood sugar readings and my weight:) I was sooooo happy to hear all of that, a little sigh of relief! They want to see me back in 4.5 weeks they too want to keep an eye on me!
So now I have the "big daddy" appointment for the week the high risk obgyn- this will be my first appointment with them and I am assuming we will have another ultrasound. I am nervous for several reasons, never met the doc, not sure exactly what to expect and then of course the whole praying everything is okay with our little one. I will update as soon as I can, things have been a little more hectic around the house with the holidays etc... I am so far behind, usually by now I have my Christmas cards done and in the mail (they are ordered and I am waiting for delivery); majority of the shopping done and started on wrapping. However I have been tired and now I am coming down with a cold-UGH!!! The coughing started yesterday and I started feeling it in my chest (upper respiratory). My question is do I call my regular physican or just wait to talk to my obgyn on Thurs?